It’s Thursday 23rd July 2020 as I type and at midnight, the world changes forever as the Government enforce the wearing of muzzles in all shops in England. An illogical move which I violently disagree with on many levels, so being “symbolic” I’m taking this as my cue to walk away and fall into silence until the sun rises once more and some “normality” resumes.
Life is now all about survival – how does one keep sane in a time where everything has gone completely insane? 2020 has been a damning test of one’s resolve and sanity in every form imaginable. All I ever wanted was to live my life with as little worry and interference from POLITICS as possible. Now, there is NO ESCAPE from it and it’s been rather awkward to deal with it.
I have just made my final posts on social media as we cease all such activities there. The last three months have been awful on there, seeing tons of posts and opinions which I mostly find objectionable, fights and arguments breaking out… it’s actually adding much more to dividing people and society. I’m also rather concerned about the FACT that social media companies are in it up to their necks in all manner of nefarious doings and dealings. For instance Jack at Twatter has been on the rampage suppressing and removing all manner of users for saying things that HE doesn’t like or agree with yet has done absolutely NOTHING to remove the tons of hardcore porn accounts which anybody can access and he’s also been proven to be “sympathetic” towards paedophiles. Child trafficking is actually as big a problem as this “virus” – I think even more so, yet social media have been endorsing and allowing this shit to go on under our very noses. How can I possibly be seen to be endorsing such organisations? To use them means I’m helping generate hits and income for them and where is that actually going? No. I can’t be a part of that machine so this muzzle decision in some ways has helped highlight and push these issues and enabled me to decide where my interests should lie.
Brickbat Enterprises is now fading away into the sunset as the web hosting/domain deal expires next January. With no news or creative ventures happening, the website has become obsolete and no longer serves any useful purpose so it will not be renewed nor will return in the future. The name will still be used on my own projects but as a web presence, it ceases to be.
I know I may sound all doomy and melodramatic and believe me, I could fill pages full of stuff in this vein which would encompass a huge amount of things which many of you hold sacred or are part of your everyday lives – such as TV and the media – but what’s the point? Who cares? 2020 has inflicted and enforced huge changes upon each and every one of us and for me personally, it’s been traumatic on many levels. I reject this so called “new normal” so how do I survive? Here’s how I intend to move forth…
I have a great job. Seriously. I genuinely enjoy it. Unlike most jobs, should there ever be another lockdown, I can actually keep on working and earning a living so I have that security. Lockdown highlighted that I was far from secure where I currently live and it was a Catch 22 situation as just before it began I started looking for a new place to move to. A drug dealer moved in then lockdown was imposed. Two long months began where all flat hunting was impossible, trapped inside a house where all manner of dramas unfolded as dealers don’t do lockdown or distancing… it became an open door to all the unsavoury dregs of Blackpool. The front door was deliberately vandalised, windows were smashed, fights broke out, dodgy characters could walk in off the street at any time and I was always encountering strangers in the hallways… as soon as letting agents were permitted to return to business, my search resumed. Fortunately, the dealer was evicted and a couple of other less than likeable neighbours also departed. The house is now quiet but it’s still firmly inside a very rough area regarded as one of the worst in Britain so it still feels like an intimidating pressure cooker. I don’t need this shit.
I’m now waiting for the green light where I can go ahead an relocate to another area, a much quieter one and a cosier more secure flat. I’m hoping to be moved by the end of July, early August at the latest. As I refuse to wear masks at all for countless reasons, I have no choice but to get all my shopping online. As there are no creative ventures or activities in which I can take part as I cannot work with other people when there are barriers known as masks and distancing between us (which causes serious communication issues for me thanks to my deafness) effectively I’m an outcast for the duration. I won’t be able to use public transport without getting anger and abuse thrown at me so have invested in a bike to cut that problem out so in many ways I’m disappearing from public view outside of work until some real normality resumes. Photography is out the question as I cannot relate to what I see anymore nor have any love or fondness for it so how can I photograph that?
Believe it or not, I’m FINE with it. Not as if I haven’t had any practice as I’ve spent many years of my life in a state of reclusive hibernation. My “new normal” is a quiet life spent mostly indoors, only heading outside when necessary for work, an odd bike ride or a walk for some exercise. Lockdown, my way. I know once settled into a quieter home and keeping the madness of the outside world at bay as much as I can, I can get back to my creativity again. It upsets and stresses me out every time I head outdoors when not working… why suffer? Why inflict that misery upon myself? I have to do what I need to do in order to survive.
In my new surroundings I will get back into my creativity and my main focus will be in my writing and probably some new music as well as hey, I’ve a ton of things to be writing about so hopefully when the sun starts to rise once more and I can re-enter social activities etc, I will have a whole load of new material to use and offer.
That’s my survival plan. Cut out all the things that piss me off, focus on ME, save up some earnings and get some good things done. I’ve had more than enough experience to know that everything is nudging me in this direction and to resist it would be futile. I’d love nothing more than meeting up with you for cups of tea and natters, eating fish and chips in fave cafes and restaurants but as things currently stand, I find Blackpool in this state a bad distorted parody I cannot endorse or be a part of until various restrictions are lifted and the way things are going, that could be a very long time. We can certainly forget about the rest of 2020.
So, all is actually fine and dandy. I’m looking forward to this new adventure in life’s unpredictable game and it’s the only feasible way I can remain functional and sane. I’ve ALWAYS been bloody-minded and done things MY way. And come on, I’m not a bad person am I? I’m not gonna get any worse!
Whilst I welcome and will correspond with pals personally and privately at the address below (sorry you’ll have to type it… don’t want to be spammed) please respect that for the time being I will NOT be accepting any offers or social activities. One recent example was proffered and was asked if wearing a face visor would make my participation viable. No, no and no. Sorry. Not going there. I can’t. Please don’t waste your time messaging me on social media as I will not respond there.
It may well be a long time before any of you get to see or talk to me again, but rest assured all is fine and well. This is my choice and I guarantee that come the day if masks and distancing are banished into the past, I will rejoin you all and party and celebrate and make up for lost time like there’s no tomorrow!
Till then, take care of yourselves. Things are gonna get rougher for all of us for quite some time. I know it will… that’s why I’m doing what I’ve outlined above!